We wish you a Metal Christmas.

Ho, ho, ho Merry Christmas........
Well, not quite yet. 

I frikin LOOOOOOVE Christmas.

I am one of those annoying people that loves everything about this time of year. 
Y'know, the one you see when your running around like a headless chicken, banging into people, trying to scramble for presents and I'm walking slowly around the shop with a big smug grin on my face because I'm just in for some more booze. 

Yes, I put my Christmas tree up on the 29th because I couldn't handle waiting any longer.
Yes, I have all my presents in and wrapped.
Yes, I have watched five versions of A Christmas Carol and about 20 other Christmas films so far.
Yes, I have four pairs of Christmas jammies.
Yes, I have eaten most of the chocolate out of my advent calendar because I'm greedy.
And yes, I've drank a bucket load of Mulled wine thus far.  

I  am the Spirit of Christmas.

I am so full of Christmas cheer (and coffee) that I might pop. 
If I do pop, it won't be blood and guts that come out. 
It will be glitter and Christmas baubles, and reindeer and mince pies and.........


Phew. I'd better clam down or I'll have a heart attack before Christmas even comes.


Here is an amazing Metal Christmas song for your delight. What a squeal this man has. Brilliant.




That was wonderful. 


I had planned to do an EPIC Christmas blog with loads of recipes for alternative mains (I hate roast turkey). 
But I've been far too busy dancing around my living room to "The Swing of Christmas"in my Christmas pants throwing tinsel around. 

So here's a few wee treats for you. 
This years festive recipes are as follows:

Asian Gravadlax
Baked Festive Ham
Smoked Sweet Potato Mash
Christmas Eton Mess that's actually nothing like Eton Mess (Deal with it)!
Christmas Punch

Asian Gravadlax

This is a four day process. It's really easy to make though, so don't let the time put you off.
if you want to pull a show stopper then get a whole side of salmon and double this recipe. It looks super fancy n shit. But I'll give you a recipe for 500g which should be enough for 6 people as a light starter. Serve it with bellinis or on prawn crackers and with chilli and lime spiked creme fraiche.

500g  super fresh as possible salmon fillet. Don't buy crappy pre packaged or frozen salmon. Go to a fishmonger or your fish counter and get them to take off the skin and the pin bones. 
50g salt
50g sugar
Quarter teaspoon cracked black pepper
big bunch corriander chopped
50ml sweet chilli sauce
15ml dark soy sauce
Juice and zest of 2 limes
Big knob fresh grated ginger

Mix the sugar, salt, pepper and corriander together
Lay the salmon on a large piece of cling film and cover both sides with the sugar, salt mixture.
Wrap the salmon up tightly in the cling film and place in a deep baking tray . Put another baking tray on top and weight down with some tins, shit you have in the fridge. As the weight will help it cure. 
Keep in the fridge for 3 days. Turning every 12 hours.
On the fourth day, unwrap the salmon and wipe of the marinade.
Place into another dish.
Mix the sweet chilli sauce, soy sauce, lime juice and zest and ginger then pour over the salmon. Making sure it's all covered in the marinade. 
Keep in the fridge for another 24 hours, again turning after 12. 
When ready to serve get a sharp knife and cut at an angle as thinly as possible. Serve with the above accompaniments. Ooh, that's a big word isn't it?

Next.

Baked Festive Ham 

You'll need a BIG pot and a meat thermometer.

1.5kg unsmoked gammon joint
1 stick celery choped roughly
1 carrot chopped roughly
5 pepper corns
1 stick cinnamon
1 star anis
half jar marmalade
150g muscavado sugar

Put your gammon into a large pot and cover completely with water as it's going to cook for quite some time. Put the celery, carrot and spices into the pot.
Put it on a high heat and bring to the boil. Turn down to a medium simmer. You'll probably need to cook it for about an hour. Check after half and hour by putting a meat thermometer into the middle of the meat. The ham is ready when it reaches 160 degrees. You might need to top up the water a couple of times while the ham is cooking to make sure it is fully submerged. Use freshly boiled water from the kettle.
Once the ham has reached temperature take it out of the pot and put onto a baking tray. Leave to cool. 
(Keep the cooking liquid if you like as it makes a good pea and ham soup using dried green split peas and left over ham).
Heat your oven to 200 degrees or equivalent. 
Take the top layer of skin off the ham making sure you leave a layer of the juicy fat. Mmmmmmmm.
Score the fat then smear in the marmalade then rub in the sugar.
Add a little water to the bottom of your baking tray to stop the bottom of the ham drying out. 
Place in the oven and bake for 20 to 30 minutes until the top is nice and golden.
You can eat it warm but if you cool it down it makes a good cold centre piece for your Christmas table.

The picture is a bit crappy as it was with my old camera. But you get the idea eh?

Smoked Sweet Potato mash

serves 4
3 large sweet potatoes peeled and chopped quite chunky. 
Glug olive oil
Teaspoon toasted pumpkin seed oil
Quarter teaspoon liquid smoke
1 teaspoon chipotle hot sauce
Big pinch salt and pepper

Heat your oven to 200 degrees or equivalent.

Toss the sweet potato with the olive oil, salt and pepper. Place into an oven tray and roast for about 30 minutes until fork tender.
Place into a bowl and add the pumpkin seed oil, liquid smoke and hot sauce and mash roughly. 
Done. Serve piping hot. 
If you stick marshmallows on it i'll punch you.

 Christmas Etonish Mess

Serves 4
500ml double cream
1 small Christmas pudding
2 punnets fresh blackberries
Glug brandy
100ml icing sugar

Whip the double cream and icing sugar together till it forms soft peaks. 
Add the brandy and whip for another few seconds.
Break up the Chrimo pud.
In your glasses put a layer of Christmas pudding, then scatter over some blackberries, then a layer of the whipped cream. 
Repeat again and top with a few more blackberries. 

Christmas Punch

1 bottle Prosecco
200ml Amaretto
200ml Cranberry juice
2 litre bottle coke. 
it tastes like Doctor pepper. Kinda.

If you want some nibbles to have with your Christmas Punch then buy a bag of crisps. I'm too busy getting drunk.

Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy New Year.
Appetite of Destruction over and out till 2014.

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SEX, DRUGS and SAUSAGE ROLLS.

The video choices today are a wee bit harder to explain than usual.

I'm doing a recipe for tasty homemade pork and apple sausage rolls.

Perfect comfort food for the "cauld" weather we're having. 

 Basically what I'm going to take with me to watch the fireworks on Guy Fawkes night.
I might get all nostalgic and actually try to burn down parliament............................................................

Sorry. I was just waiting to see if an armed response team was going to turn up? 
Clearly the powers that be are not hacking into my blogs and must have better things to do.


I needed a song that would go with porky sausage rolls so I was thinking....... Primus? "My name is mud", from the "Pork Soda" album? Or there was a video from a band called "Pork Sword" but that was shite misogynistic crap at it's worst. 
Check out the video if you want. I wouldn't bother.

Well anyone that know me knows that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Metal.
But I am an open minded soul. I love ALL music. Yes, I said it.

 ALL MUSIC.

I would describe myself as a "Music lover" not a "Metal head".

I'm just as happy dancing to Girls Aloud, Paul Simon, Neon Neon, or Frank Sinatra as I am  Pantera. 
I think it's because I get antsy if I don't go without dancing for an hour. Honestly.

Old blue eyes himself

There are great artists in all genres of music and if you don't open yourself up to new experiences how can you truly live?

Check me out getting all philosophical.  

I am fully aware that I choose to write a Heavy Metal food blog so there is  method to my madness.

Basically I was having a wee think to myself about the roots of Heavy Metal.
How it started from Classical music through to Blues and Rock n Roll.
 Hey, I don't need to tell you guys this. I know you already know this stuff .
But it got me thinking about some old Rock n Roll bands that I love and about Metal bands that cover the songs. 

Then I started thinking about all the great songs that Metal bands have covered.

And we all know that Metal bands do brilliant covers.

Marylin Manson's cover of Eurythmics "sweet Dreams". 
Faith No More's brilliant cover of The Commodores "Easy" to name but a few.

So here is a selection of my favorite covers by Metal bands. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

And remember there are some really good recipes at the end of this. I suggest playing the songs while you make the recipes.
Cooking is more fun while you're dancing around the kitchen and singing into your wooden spoon.
Especially if your in your pants.





Pork, apple and Gorgonzola sausage rolls

Ingredients

makes 16 (and 2 burger patties)
You can substitute the pork with vegetarian haggis for a veggie roll. It works really well. 

500g pork mince NOT sausage meat
1 small leek washed and diced finely
1 Bramly apple 
125g Gorgonzola
Quarter teaspoon dried thyme
300g pack ready rolled puff pastry (I used Just Roll. It was the perfect size)
Quarter teaspoon each of salt and pepper
1 egg yolk whisked with a drop of water 

Heat the oven to 200 degrees or equivalent.
Mix the pork mince, leek, thyme,salt and pepper together.

Grate in the apple and crumble in the Gorgonzola and give it a mix, trying not to break up the Gorgonzola too much.

Get your puff pastry and cut it into two strips. 
Take pieces of the filling and lay in a strip down the middle of each pastry strip. You should have enough mix left to make two big burgers as you don't want to over fill the sausage rolls or you won't get the pastry round them.

Fold the pastry around the sausage meat and give it a gentle roll. Turn the seal over to the bottom side.

Using a very sharp knife cut each giant sausage roll into 8.

Place the sausage rolls onto a greased or parchment lined baking sheet and brush with the egg yolk mix. 
I topped mine with crispy onions but you could leave them plain or use poppy or sesame seeds if you want decoration.

Place in the oven and cook for 30 to 35 minutes until meat is cooked through and pastry is golden.

Leave for about 5 minutes until you eat or you'll burn your bloody lips off.

Funnily enough I like dipping my sausage rolls into sweet chilli sauce. It's good. That was Kath's idea. Thanks Kath. XXX

Gratuitous tattoo shot

Cocktail Monday proudly presents Black Breath

To all of you on "STOPTOBER".

Don't read any further.

And also............... BITE ME!

There's no such thing as "I'm not drinking this month" in the language of a Glaswegian.

Heresy I say, Heresy. 

Unless of course you are a recovering alcoholic. Then fair play to ye.  

So cocktail Monday has returned with a cheeky little recipe involving the nemesis of all civilized nights out. 

JAGERMEISTER!

Ah, Jagermeister. That marvelous little gleaming black shot.
"'I'll just have the one, y'know. To get me in the party mood".

8 shots later and you've got your knickers on your head, you've made best pals with a bunch of Hell's Angels, you've got someone's house plant in your pocket and your dancing like Prince in the middle of the street. 

Not speaking from experience or anything.

I've named this cocktail after the band Black Breath. They are from Seattle (my spiritual home) and sound "Entombedy". That's a new adjective I made up. 

They also seem to have resurrected Cliff Burton from the dead. Oh I'm sorry, are you too young to know who that is??????????







I'm going to do this cocktail recipe in picture form because after a few you won't be able to read anymore.

Disclaimer
Appetite of Destruction takes no responsibility for any damage, criminal activity or loss of limbs due to drinking this cocktail.

Black Breath

You will need

One large glass.

Lots of ice. Polar bear optional.

25ml shot black vodka. Preferably the above brand.

25ml Jagermeister

Half a bottle of alcoholic ginger beer. 

100ml Apple juice

Cocktail umbrella

Enjoy responsibly. Please.

A feast fit for a circle pit.

Well with the new Annihilator album out this year, what better way than to celebrate with a FEAST (get it, get it).

Now most people these days say they don't have a lot of time for cooking.  I say "BULLSHIT"!

Here's my tricks for COOKING FOR A CROWD.

What you want to do is to make life easy for yourself. 
You don't want to be standing in the kitchen all night slaving over a hot stove while your buddies circle pit in your living room. 

No, no. You wanna fling everything in the oven, strap on your spiky armbands and go join in that shit.

Word of advice though....... Don't circle pit in a room with artexing. You'll get skint elbows. 

This recipe is a bung it all in an oven tray and pap it in the oven dish. 
Easy peasy lemon squeasy. 
POOF! and it's done.

Chicken tray bake for a crowd
Feeds 12

You'll need a BIG DEEP oven tray. Ooh Er matron!

Before cooking

After cooking.

Ingredients

12 boneless and skinnless chicken thighs (the best bit of the chicken. Although Hannibal Lector says to go for the Oysters).
3 red onions peeled and cut into wedges
2 x 500g pack baby carrots tops removed
3 punnets cherry tomatoes
500g trimmed green beans halved
1 Kg baby potatoes sliced thinly
4 cloves garlic sliced thinly
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1 tablespoon mustard
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 chicken jelly sock cube
300ml water
Salt and pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil

Heat your oven to 190 degrees or equivalent.
Stick everything in a large oven tray and mix well to make sure everything is coated.
Leave to sit for 15 minutes.

Circle pit.

Pap it in the oven.
Leave for 35 to 40 minutes, stirring every now and then. Make sure the chicken is cooked through. You can circle pit while you wait.

Serve.

Wait 30 minutes then circle pit some more. Don't blame me if you puke.

Machine Head always give good  Circle Pit.

Now I've been in a Machine Head Circle Pit before.
 It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. 
I lost my shoes. 
Once you go in you can't get back out till it stops.
JUST KEEP RUNNING and feel free to scream the entire time. That's what I did.
 Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Is it like licking a goat?

Hello there one and all.

Today's blog is not about a recipe but about a little shop called CHEESE WORKS in Cheltenham.

This shop is amazing. It is a cheese lovers paradise. Full of cheesy wonders, cured meats, bread, olives, wine, chutneys, oils and............... staff who may or may not be slightly terrified of me?????????????

Check out the website http://thecheeseworks.co.uk/

As a leaving Glasgow gift my buddies Pauline and Debbie bought me a £60 voucher for Cheese Works.
That's right. £60!
WOW. My girls know I like my cheese.

Maybe I'm a little bit like Wallace as in Wallace and Gromit?

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese Gromit.

Well, I clutched my vouchers and ran to the shop.
I was a bit over excited about the prospect of all the cheese.
I went in and stood wild eyed for about 20 seconds.
Just long enough I think to make the guys behind the counter think I was slightly unhinged (I am).

The girl made a run for it so it was left to the unlucky handsome young lad to serve me. Mwaaaah ha haaaa.

Well I had no idea what I wanted but "said" unlucky lad was very helpful and went through everything with me.
Damn that boy knew his cheeses.

Here's what I got

Look at the Brie, just LOOK at it. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

And this was the end result which I shared with Holley. Classy eh?You know it.

Well, I had my last cheese to pick and thought that I quite fancied a goats cheese.
Now I can't remember exactly what I got but the lad suggested one to me but said " If you like it quite goaty, then you'll like this".

My reply? 
I leaned in slowly and asked in my best M&S voice "Is it like licking a goat?" 
After which I flashed him a maniacal smile with raised eyebrows.

He laughed nervously. But didn't answer.

I came back a few weeks later waving more vouchers about and shouted "I'm back". The guy scarpered this time and the girl was left to serve me. She was really nice.

Oh how I  do like to like to make young handsome lads feel uncomfortable.

And I still have some vouchers left. Mwah hahahahahahahahaha!

I have a whole other story about trying to chat up a guy when I worked at the cake shop while wearing  a hair net and pretending I was a Latino inmate at San Quentin trying to sell him some smokes.
I know, I'm a classy burd.

This how I pictured myself in the above scene

The reality of what I probably looked like.

So I am officially a  Goat whore

Here's a video by Goatwhore. Enjoy.

And if you live in Cheltenham or surrounding area, please visit Cheese works. You won't be disappointed.

Tell them I sent ya!

Fear The Milkshake

Well hello there.

It's hot, too hot, damn hot.
The only way I can express how hot I feel is by the video below.





Couldn't have said it better myself.

Regardless. Today's blog is all about milkshake and Fear factory.

Now as my good friend Lynne (the only person who actually reads these things) knows, my mind tends to work in tangents when I'm writing this blog.

It might have something to do with all the coffee I drink while typing.

Here's how my mind usually works during a bloggery session.

Hmmmmmm......... Vikings, I like Vikings, Ooh and pork pies............... um............. (while dancing) "Keyleigh, Is it too late to saaaaay I'm sorreeeeeeeeee". 
Ok, blog. Concentrate. 
Typing, typing, sip some coffee............ How much milk goes in that again? Shit! I've just dropped it on the floor. Hmmmmmmmmm.......must buy more milk (dancing again) "Sad but troooooooooooooooooooo"
Ok, blog. Right.
 Fear Factory milk flingin video.
Aye!

So the video for Fear Factory's Linchipn has this:

Chug a chug guitars - CHECK
Pistons - CHECK
Wind machine - CHECK
Fat guy playing guitar - CHECK
Epic sing along chorus - CHECK
Lots of milk to fling - CHECK

So obviously the first thing I thought of when all the milk flinging was going on was "MILKSHAKE".
And it's hot weather y'know?
A nice cool refreshing milkshake would go down well.
Especially a strawberry, mint and black pepper one. Eh? Eh?
Aye.


Strawberry, mint and black pepper milk shake
For 2 You will need a blender, or food processor

Ingredients

4 scoops good vanilla ice cream
400 ml milk
200 g strawberries fresh or frozen
Sprig mint
Quarter teaspoon cracked black pepper

If you really must you can add 100 ml Chamboard/ Vodka/ white rum/ methylated spirits.

Put everything except the mint into the blender/ food processor.
Take the mint leaves off the sprig and squeesh them up in your hand to bruise them and let the oils start to come out.
Put into the blender.

Put the lid on.

Whizz on medium until smooth.

Pour into frosted glasses and slurp away.

You don't have to dress like the crow or fling it about. Unless you really want to.

Peace out.

Sushi, Power Metal, Sex and Machineguns

Did you think this was another one of my Mills and Boon recipes?
Go on, you did. Didn't you?

Sorry, not this time.
This is my sushi blog.

Now, I'm no sushi master.
I had no Sensei teaching me the subtle art of sushi.
 I did however have a cool Japanese guy called Daichan take some time out of his busy afternoon to teach me a crash course in sushi mastery.

The rest I put down to trial and error.
(note to self: Haggis in sushi is neither fun nor clever).

Below is a video for a band called Sexmachineguns. They are a Japanese fast wheedly, wheedly, wheeeeee kinda band.

It good shit.
Check it out. They pump Iron in the video. AWESOME!





It's actually quite easy to knock up a simple batch of sushi once you know the basics.
You can experiment with loads of different flavours.
NOT haggis though. Trust me.

So below is my easy peasy guide to sushi making Appetite of destruction style.

First we need to start with ingredients.
I just made mines veggie but if you want to use fish then just make sure it is super duper fresh and sustainable of course.

Ingredients

400g sushi rice
2 sheets sushi nori (toasted seaweed sheets)
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 tablespoon mirin (Japanese sweet seasoning)
pinch salt
1 cucumber deseeded and cut into strips
100g picked radish (mooli) cut into strips
1 avocado sliced thin
2 tablespoons furikake (Japanese sesame seed seasoning)
wasabi to taste

To make your rice you need to rinse it in cold water then soak it in 600 ml cold water for 30 minutes.

Drain the rice put into a pot and add 600 ml fresh cold water and bring to the boil. Cover with lid turn heat down to medium and cook for 10 minutes. DO NOT TAKE THE LID OFF OR STIR.

Remove from heat then sprinkle over the rice vinegar, mirin, salt and furikake, give it a gentle mix then put the lid back on and leave for 15 minutes till cool.

OK, it's easier to follow the diagrammes below than for me to write a HUGE paragraph explaining how to roll sushi.  

Also, covering the sushi matt with cling film helps too.

Scroll down really fast for an action shot. 

Spread the rice mix over the sushi nori in a thin layer leaving a flap at the top. 

This sounds weird but if you lube up your hands with mayonnaise or oil you can spread the rice easier. 

Spread a little wasabi in a line 1/3 of the way up. Or a lot, depending on how macho you think you are. 

lay your strips of vegetables, fish ect. as below.

Fold the end over then using the matt roll the sushi up pulling the matt away from the sushi as you do. Unless you want to eat the sushi matt too. Roll it tightly.

Like so.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Give it a firm squeesh along the matt to make sure it is tight and firm. Ooh er'. 

Sushi log.

Inside out rolls. Same idea, just the other way round

Spread the rice as above, sprinkle with more furikake then flip over.

Rice is now underneath. magic.

Woo hoo. Sushi done. result!

Put the sushi into the fridge to chill for an hour or so then slice using a sharp knife.

Serve with soy sauce, picked ginger and if you wish sweet chilli sauce. You Heathen!

He is the prince of the land called Fife.

I am Angus McFife, from the Clan McFife.
He's the Prince of the land of Fife.

Honestly, this is the best video I've seen in ages. I love a bit of fantasy Power Metal.
Here's a little info to get you started

Scotland - A highland realm of mystery, wonder, and epic battles from an ancient time, shrouded by magical mists. A time of dragons and wizards, and enchanted weapons. These are the legends of the Kingdom of Fife, when the great hero Angus McFife waged an epic war against the evil wizard Zargothrax, to free the people of Dundee in the name of glory and steel. These are the legends of GLORYHAMMER!

The 'Heroic Fantasy Power Metal' band GLORYHAMMER is the new project formed by Christopher Bowes, the mastermind behind pirate-metal sensation ALESTORM, with a desire to explore the more symphonic and epic side of metal. The band's debut concept album 'TALES FROM THE KINGDOM OF FIFE', released in March 2013, is telling a story based in an alternate-history medieval Scotland, where magic and dark sorcery reigns supreme. GLORYHAMMER is a band like no other... PREPARE FOR EPIC BATTLES!

Buy their album out now. Gloryhammer "Tales from the Kingdom of Fife".
 Do it. No really, here's the link

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tales-Kingdom-Fife-Gloryhammer/dp/B00B4JIV48/ref=sr_1_1?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1373985335&sr=1-1&keywords=gloryhammer






I've been to the Kingdom of Fife a few times.
My Granny used to live there.
I went on caravan holidays there, got nits at said caravan holiday.
 I drank unlimited cups of juice at the Woollen Mill. A concept unheard of in Scotland at that time (the 80's, you got nothin for free, not even milk).
I had amazing Ice cream in St Andrews, played on the beach and swam in the North Sea. Very cold.
Aye, the kingdom of Fife is a bonny wee place Ken?

In honour of my Scottish heritage I'll give you a wee recipe for one of our National dishes

Mince  and Tatties

This is a cheap as chips meal involving everything Scottish people love.

Mince

Tatties

Carrots and peas

Buckfast

A ha, I'm only kidding about the Buckfast. maybe?


This recipe is easy peasy. It's enough for four. So it is by the way. Ken?

Ingredients

500g lean beefy mince
1 small onion diced
1 large carrot peeled and diced
100g fresh or frozen peas
200ml water
1 beef jelly stock cube
Salt and pepper
Splash Worcestershire sauce
splash vegetable oil

Enough potatoes for 4 people I don't know how much potato you like?
Splash milk
Big knob butter
salt and pepper

Peel, wash and cut your potatoes into chunks and put into a pan of cold water with a little salt and put on to boil.
Boil for about 20 minutes or until potatoes are fork tender.

While the potatoes are cooking get your mince on the go.

In a large pot heat a splash of oil on medium and add the onion and carrot. Cook without colouring for about 5 minutes until slightly softened. Add the mince and cook stirring every now and then till browned through.

Add the jelly stock cube, water, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper. Bring to a simmer and cook uncovered for about 30 minutes until you have a thick sauce. Add the peas and cook through for a few minutes.

Drain the potatoes and mash with a splash of milk, butter, salt and pepper. Serve piping hot with the mince.
I like to mix it all up. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I must break you!

This blog post today is dedicated to my hero, my muse, my father figure and my all time favourite action man of ALL time. 

Dolph Lundgren

Now, what the hell does Dolph Lundgren have to do with Heavy Metal I hear you say?
Well, don't worry pal. I'll get to that in a minute.

But first let me just give you a run down of the reasons why I love Dolph so much.
My friends think I'm weird, I don't care. I will defend his honour to the death.
But here is my list.

1. He's a very good actor (see, The Punisher, The final Enquiry, Dark Angel, One in the Chamber).
2. He's a big hulking man machine.
3. He's a really nice guy, can take fun of himself and is not a Hollywood  Douche. See below.

3. He is a smart cookie. With a Degree in Chemical engineering.

4. He's shit hot at martial arts.

5.  He stars in Showdown in little Tokyo which is one of the best buddy films ever made. Dolph Lundgren an Brandon Lee invented "Bromance".

6. Dolph, is an actor, writer , producer and director. A hard working man.

7. Dolph doesn't need to jump off planes, destroy jet fighters with cars, use massive guns, fly through the flippin air or do stupid unbelievable stunts. 

He fights with his mitts. 

Like a real man.

8. Dolph is responsible for my mantra in life for whenever I'm in a tight spot .

 "What would Dolph do"?  

9. He is one of the most memorable action stars of all time. 
He was the  first guy to play The Punisher, so good that his quote from The Punisher was used in Biohazards video for "Punishment".
See, that's where the Heavy Metal angle comes in. Aaaah!

10. Whenever I feel crappy I put on a Dolph film and it cheers me right up.

If I were ever to meet the man in person I would say ""Thank you".

Thank you Dolph because in a strange way, having never met you, you have made my life better by being in it. 

Anyhoooooooo, so this is a foodie blog yes? I keep forgetting this.

So in honour of The Man, the Legend that is Mr Dolph Lundgren  I have named a cocktail for him.

I call it             The Lundgrenberry Punisher

This recipe uses Lingonberry juice (see what I did there with the name, Eh? Eh?)

Lingonberries are native to Dolph's neck of the woods. That's Sweden by the way.
 They are similarish to blueberries. So if you are finding it difficult to get a hold of some lingonberry juice you
can substitute it for blueberry juice.

Get yourself a big pint glass and fill it with ice then add the following, give it a good stir then get it doon ye'.

25ml Vodka
250ml sweet cider,  Recorderlig wild berries is very good with this but you could just use a normal sweet apple cider
100ml Lingonberry juice

Here's a weird photo

Enjoy. 

Appetite of Destructions lazy summer day tunes.

Hello again.

Thank God, (or really thank myself for clicking on lots of random buttons and nearly killing my computer)  that I've got my internet working again.

Hallelujah!

I've had my last BBQ blog in the works for over a year now. Just wishing and hoping that the sun will make a cheeky wee appearance.

If memory serves me correct, I think this is called sunshine? 

Below I have compiled a playlist of all the songs that make me think of lazy summer days.

Lying on the grass on one of my Grannie's neon crochet blankets, sipping some sort of refreshing alcoholic beverage. Beer, cocktail, Methylated spirit.
Listening to some relaxing tunes and getting the BBQ fired up for a good ol' meaty feast.

Bring on the summer. Neon Granny blanket just in shot on  left. Thanks Gran.

Please enjoy my little playlist or send me your own perfect summer playlist.