Poutine. No, not the President of Russia. He's a Dick. Poutine is a Canadian dish originating from Quebec, consisting of potato fries (that's chips to you and me), chicken gravy and cheese curds. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Now I don't know how popular chips and gravy are in the rest of the UK, but in Glasgow it's the ultimate drunk food. Well, that and deep fried pizza. Oh yes you heard me right. Don't knock it till you've tried it pal! Poutine is famous in Canada so it is and it's eventually sneaking it's wee cheesy, gravy head over this side of the pond. Hello Poutine. Now Who's your favorite Canadian Metal Band? Rush? Nickleback???? ha ha, NO. It's gotta be Strapping Young Lad hasn't it? I want Devin Townsend to be my pal. He'd just make me laugh till my belly hurt.
Here's a Strapping Young Lad video. Probably best not to watch this with a hangover. Not that I ever have hangovers being teetotal and all that.
OOF! That was fun. As you know, I like to shake shit up a bit so i'll be changing the recipe a wee bit. Instead of using normal chips I'm going to use sweet potatoes because I love them. And I'll be baking them in the oven instead of frying them to make the recipe slightly more healthy. Don't worry though folks..... APPETITE OF DESTRUCTION does not do diet food. It'll still be tastilicious (that's a word). I'm also using ready made chicken gravy as I plain just can't be arsed to make it myself today. If you are a purest feel free to make your own. I'll be having a beer while you do. Oh, no wait. A non alcoholic beer. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.... aaaaaaaaah! Well onwards and upwards. Here's the recipe. If you eat it while drunk it tastes even better. Apparently. I wouldn't know! Sweet Potato Poutine serves 2
2 - 3 large sweet potatoes 200g of cheese curds (If you can't get cheese curds then just substitute it for 500g tub chilled chicken gravy Olive oil Quarter teaspoon cracked black pepper One teaspoon smoked Cajun seasoning Splash milk Salt and pepper Heat your oven to 220 degrees or equivalent. Cut your sweet potatoes into thick chips. Leave the skin on, it makes them smokey and tasty. Put into a big bowl and add the Cajun spice, a big pinch of salt and pepper and a big glug of olive oil and mix until all the sweet potato chips are coated. Place into the oven and roast for about 25 to 30 minutes so that the potato is crispy and golden on the outside and soft on the inside. Armadillooooooooo! Just before the potatoes are ready heat your gravy in a saucepan on medium heat until it is hot and bubbling lightly. Add the pepper and milk and give it a quick whisk. Take off the heat. Place your sweet potato chips onto two plates then top with the cheese curds and then pour over the gravy. If you don't mumble "Oh dear God" when your mouth is full there's something wrong with you. Enjoy.
Do do doooooo, dee dooo, dee do, doooo, dooooooo. Do, do, do, dee doooo dee doooooo.
Ooh, they must have been cold.
I was made for lovin you baby, you were made for lovin meeeeee..... Now, I had only been born for 17 days when this album was released so I didn't get the disappointment of seeing Kiss go "Disco".
In my opinion it was a brave, tongue in cheek move. Kiss proved that they can do "Disco" better than.... well... DISCO! I also think that Metal bands come up with the best covers. But we shall leave that for another blog eh?????????? Oh, how exciting. (In fact, off tangent....... If you have managed to read the blog this far down and aren't bored yet, then send your "Best Metal cover" suggestions to my Facebook page and we can start up a wee playlist. Link to Facebook is at top of this blog, well the last time I checked it was). Here is the great band at work.
You are probably wondering why i'm going on about Disco Kiss?
Well, if you go to a chippy or takeaway in Glasgow (and I think round most of the UK) you can buy a specialty called "Disco Fries". I'm not sure if they call it this because you usually order it when you come out of a "disco" slightly worse for wear and in need of sustenance? Basically it is chips with gravy and cheese, much like it's posher Canadian cousin the "Poutine", which has cheese curds instead of normal grated cheddar.
Baulk and also NOT my photo
So we have Disco fries in honor of Disco Kiss. I've switched the recipe up a wee bit though for my sophisticated pallet..... I'm using a blue cheese sauce instead of grated cheese as I love the tang you get from blue cheese. Yep, never snog me after disco fries........ Not that I'm insinuating that you all want to snog me. But the offer is there anyway. OK, so the Black Spiders bit is about another band who I think are brilliant.
Saw them live in Wolverhampton when I went to see Danzig and they have a song called " Kiss Tried to Kill Me" which you should definitely check out below.
Righty 'O, so we should get on with the recipe eh? DISCO FRIES WERE MADE FOR LOVING BLACK SPIDERS
feeds 2 This recipe is really easy and requires no effort at all. Most of the products you can buy ready made. I know this is a cooking blog but hey, sometimes you just want an easy life. And I wouldn't suggest cooking while drunk. Unless you want to burn your house down?????? Half bag Frozen oven or fryer chips. Or a whole bag if you are really hungry??? 400g tub ready made rich gravy (you can make your own gravy from scratch if you like) 150g roast beef shredded ( you can use left overs or buy a pack of roast beef from le shoppe) 200ml double cream 100g Roquefort cheese Salt and pepper Cook your chips in the oven or fryer as per package instructions. Get two little pots. Put the gravy and roast beef into one and the cream and blue cheese into another. Heat both on medium low heat while the chips are cooking. Stir the cheese sauce every now and then so it doesn't burn and till the sauce is thick and creamy. About 15 minutes. Put the chips onto two plates, add a little salt and pepper. Top with the Gravy then top with the Cheese sauce.
Hot Damn Diggity Dawg. Today's blog is inspired by a wee place I went to in Bristol called Atomic Burger It's great burger, hotdog place with cool retro comic book inspired decor and "Hard Shakes". Mmmmmm, booze and ice cream. Always a good combination. Just for the record. I really LOVE Bristol. It's one of my favorite cities. Friendly locals and loads of good bars and restaurants to go to. Amazing graffiti artists and a great music scene. Aye! ATOMIC BURGER
I had the Stray Dog. A German Frankfurter wrapped in bacon with aged Cheddar sauce, tumbleweed onions and the Danger Fries. Crispy fries topped with pulled chicken, Louisiana hot sauce, blue cheese dressing and spring onions. All washed down with some tasty Margharitas. Atomic burger is definitely a must if you find yourself in the wonderful City of Bristol. Great atmosphere, good service, old 80's videos and comic book decor which, (for me at least) takes me right back to my childhood. Even with the "interestingly erotic" floor design.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Well then. Here's a wee video from a band called Red Fang. I think they are one of the best bands to come out in ages. The song is called "Prehistoric Dog".... hot dog? See what I did there. God, I'm a genius. For anyone who knows anything about erm......role playing (not me of course, oh no) the video is pretty funny.
Also worthy of note in Bristol is The Gryphon bar. A proper Metal boozer with tons of live acts and cask ales on offer. Check it out. The owner looks like Oliver Reed (see below). The Gryphon
So here's my take on an ATOMIC DAWG. bringing the atomic from the green chilli. Ooft! Now, I ran a competition on facebook to name the "dawg" and the best name got something special (illegal?) through the post. 3 people replied. Woo hoooooo. Thanks Lynne, Ali and Henry. So Henry is the winner with "The Dirty Dawg". Wheeeeeeeeeeey.
The Dirty Dawg
Crispy bacon wrapped Bratwurst with squeezy cheese and green chilli relish. Makes 4 4 BIG Bratwurst 4 nice brioche buns or good sub rolls or hotdog rolls 8 rashers of really good streaky bacon. It MUST be streaky. A bottle of squeesy cheddar style cheese (yep, that's right, trust me it's worth it) 1 green pepper 1 green jalapeno 1 shallot 50ml white wine vinegar 25g sugar 1 tomato chopped Sunflower oil or olive oil Pinch corriander seeds crushed Salt and pepper
First we need to make the chilli relish. De seed your green pepper and cut into small dice. Then finely chop you chilli (seeds and all). Chop your shallot finely. Heat a little oil in a pan on medium. Add the corriander seeds and shallots and cook for a few minutes until shallots are soft and opaque and corriander smells fragrant and amazing. Add your chilli and cook for one minute then add your green pepper and cook for about 5 minutes until softened. Add the vinegar, sugar and a pinch of salt and pepper and cook for about 8 to 10 minutes until liquid has absorbed and you have a slightly wet relish ( It will thicken as it cools). Leave to cool. So here's the tricky part. You need to get a skewer or a chop stick and stick it down the length of the bratwurst, making sure not to pop out the other end or break the sausage. You are basically making a little tunnel to squeeze in the cheese.
So, then..... squeeze in your cheese and fill the cavity. Fnar, fnar. Get two rashers of streaky bacon and wrap them around the Bratwurst making sure that you cover the wee hole where you squeezed in your cheesy goodness. Mmmmmmmmmm.
Heat a frying pan on medium with a little oil then place in your bacon wrapped dogs and fry until bacon is nice and browned all over. This should take about 10 minutes. Take out of the pan and leave to rest while you split your buns and place cut side down in the pan you cooked your dawgs in to heat and toast gently.
Place your dawgs in the buns then top with the relish. You can also add some fresh chopped tomato, ketchup, mustard, ice cream, dandelions etc . If you want. Enjoy and feel free to admit that you quite like squeezy cheese. you do. Admit it.
WARNING: This blog contains blood and Vincent Gallo. If you dislike either then look away now. Are you scared?????? OK, so when I say "blood" I mean black pudding. Now I love the stuff but understand that for some mild palliated pussies it's a wee bit too scary. "Ooooooooh, I couldn't eat that. It's got blood in it. But you can eat meat? Yeah?"
Black pudding is awesome. It's so rich, savoury and tasty, tasty delicious. Get over it! So for the black pudding lovers out there, I salute you. And today's blog is for a great breakfast/ brunch recipe for black pudding and apple pancakes. Here's a wee video to get you in the blood loss mood. I will have to admit though..... Vincent Gallo does scare me. His gaze, his angry stare. I don't like it. If I saw him in the street I would run away. Run as fast as my little short Glaswegian legs could carry me. Hey, Even Glassjaw are scared of Vincent Gallo.
Haw Daryl. Pull yer pants up! Black Pudding and Apple Pancakes
the best puddin in the world.
My picture isn't too good but trust me. The pancakes are. And yes, I did eat all of this.
4 slices of really good quality black pudding. Stornoway black pudding is by far the best in my opinion. It's so good it has been given protected status. 1 apple, Granny smith is nice and tart 135g plain flour 1 teaspoon baking powder Half teaspoon salt 130ml whole milk 1 large egg beaten 2 tablespoons melted butter Extra butter or oil for frying Maple syrup, fried egg, bacon etc for serving. I had egg and chips with it. That's me. Cook your black pudding slices under a medium grill for a few minutes each side until cooked through and slightly crispy. Leave to cool. Sieve your flour, baking powder and salt into a bowl. Add your egg and mix till combined. Add the milk and melted butter and whisk till smooth. Crumble in your cooked black pudding the use a grater to grate in your apple. Don't worry about peeling it. Mix till combined. Heat a frying pan on medium high heat and add a little butter or oil. Spoon in 4 separate small mounds of pancake mix and cook each pancake for about 2 to 4 minutes each side until golden brown. Repeat with the rest of the batter until it's all used up. You can keep the first pancakes warm in a low oven until you have finished the mix. Serve with maple syrup, poached or fried egg, chips, bacon, avocado, toothpaste or generally anything you like having with your pancakes. Mon the black puddin!
To all of you on "STOPTOBER". Don't read any further. And also............... BITE ME! There's no such thing as "I'm not drinking this month" in the language of a Glaswegian. Heresy I say, Heresy. Unless of course you are a recovering alcoholic. Then fair play to ye. So cocktail Monday has returned with a cheeky little recipe involving the nemesis of all civilized nights out. JAGERMEISTER! Ah, Jagermeister. That marvelous little gleaming black shot. "'I'll just have the one, y'know. To get me in the party mood". 8 shots later and you've got your knickers on your head, you've made best pals with a bunch of Hell's Angels, you've got someone's house plant in your pocket and your dancing like Prince in the middle of the street. Not speaking from experience or anything. I've named this cocktail after the band Black Breath. They are from Seattle (my spiritual home) and sound "Entombedy". That's a new adjective I made up. They also seem to have resurrected Cliff Burton from the dead. Oh I'm sorry, are you too young to know who that is??????????
I'm going to do this cocktail recipe in picture form because after a few you won't be able to read anymore.
Disclaimer Appetite of Destruction takes no responsibility for any damage, criminal activity or loss of limbs due to drinking this cocktail. Black Breath You will need
One large glass.
Lots of ice. Polar bear optional.
25ml shot black vodka. Preferably the above brand.
Well with the new Annihilator album out this year, what better way than to celebrate with a FEAST (get it, get it). Now most people these days say they don't have a lot of time for cooking. I say "BULLSHIT"! Here's my tricks for COOKING FOR A CROWD. What you want to do is to make life easy for yourself. You don't want to be standing in the kitchen all night slaving over a hot stove while your buddies circle pit in your living room. No, no. You wanna fling everything in the oven, strap on your spiky armbands and go join in that shit. Word of advice though....... Don't circle pit in a room with artexing. You'll get skint elbows.
This recipe is a bung it all in an oven tray and pap it in the oven dish. Easy peasy lemon squeasy. POOF! and it's done. Chicken tray bake for a crowd Feeds 12 You'll need a BIG DEEP oven tray. Ooh Er matron!
Before cooking
After cooking.
Ingredients 12 boneless and skinnless chicken thighs (the best bit of the chicken. Although Hannibal Lector says to go for the Oysters). 3 red onions peeled and cut into wedges 2 x 500g pack baby carrots tops removed 3 punnets cherry tomatoes 500g trimmed green beans halved 1 Kg baby potatoes sliced thinly 4 cloves garlic sliced thinly 1 tablespoon tomato paste 1 tablespoon mustard 1 teaspoon soy sauce 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 1 chicken jelly sock cube 300ml water Salt and pepper 2 tablespoons olive oil Heat your oven to 190 degrees or equivalent. Stick everything in a large oven tray and mix well to make sure everything is coated. Leave to sit for 15 minutes. Circle pit. Pap it in the oven. Leave for 35 to 40 minutes, stirring every now and then. Make sure the chicken is cooked through. You can circle pit while you wait. Serve. Wait 30 minutes then circle pit some more. Don't blame me if you puke.
Machine Head always give good Circle Pit.
Now I've been in a Machine Head Circle Pit before. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I lost my shoes. Once you go in you can't get back out till it stops. JUST KEEP RUNNING and feel free to scream the entire time. That's what I did. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Today's blog is not about a recipe but about a little shop called CHEESE WORKS in Cheltenham.
This shop is amazing. It is a cheese lovers paradise. Full of cheesy wonders, cured meats, bread, olives, wine, chutneys, oils and............... staff who may or may not be slightly terrified of me?????????????
As a leaving Glasgow gift my buddies Pauline and Debbie bought me a £60 voucher for Cheese Works.
That's right. £60! WOW. My girls know I like my cheese.
Maybe I'm a little bit like Wallace as in Wallace and Gromit?
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeese Gromit.
Well, I clutched my vouchers and ran to the shop.
I was a bit over excited about the prospect of all the cheese.
I went in and stood wild eyed for about 20 seconds.
Just long enough I think to make the guys behind the counter think I was slightly unhinged (I am).
The girl made a run for it so it was left to the unlucky handsome young lad to serve me. Mwaaaah ha haaaa.
Well I had no idea what I wanted but "said" unlucky lad was very helpful and went through everything with me.
Damn that boy knew his cheeses.
Here's what I got
Look at the Brie, just LOOK at it. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
And this was the end result which I shared with Holley. Classy eh?You know it.
Well, I had my last cheese to pick and thought that I quite fancied a goats cheese.
Now I can't remember exactly what I got but the lad suggested one to me but said " If you like it quite goaty, then you'll like this".
My reply?
I leaned in slowly and asked in my best M&S voice "Is it like licking a goat?"
After which I flashed him a maniacal smile with raised eyebrows.
He laughed nervously. But didn't answer.
I came back a few weeks later waving more vouchers about and shouted "I'm back". The guy scarpered this time and the girl was left to serve me. She was really nice.
Oh how I do like to like to make young handsome lads feel uncomfortable.
And I still have some vouchers left. Mwah hahahahahahahahaha!
I have a whole other story about trying to chat up a guy when I worked at the cake shop while wearing a hair net and pretending I was a Latino inmate at San Quentin trying to sell him some smokes.
I know, I'm a classy burd.
This how I pictured myself in the above scene
The reality of what I probably looked like.
So I am officially a Goat whore
Here's a video by Goatwhore. Enjoy.
And if you live in Cheltenham or surrounding area, please visit Cheese works. You won't be disappointed.
"THE APPETITE OF DESTRUCTION METALER'S GUIDE TO GRILLIN"
I just made that up. Do you like it?
This is gonna be another beast of a blog as I'm giving you recipes for every freakin thing. From sauces, pickles, burgers, veggies, salads. The lot.
(Check out my next blog for my ultimate lazy summer day playlist)
It will be a feast that will be forever remembered in time. Men will weep and fall to their knees at the sight of the meaty goodness. Woman will come over all a quiver and faint into the arms of the men still able to stand.
Oh yes. I know how to throw a mean BBQ.
Here is a little video to get you in the mood. I bloody love it.
I tell you, it's amazing what you can find online.
There is a song for everything. Whoop!
That was fun wasn't it?
So here is the list of everything that we shall make. It's alot. But you will thank me for it when you sink your teeth in. And you better get yourself a decent BBQ.
OK, here goes.
This is what we shall be concocting.
Beef and blue cheese burgers with grilled red onion and Bourbon, cola BBQ sauce
Hoisin pork burgers with pickled cucumber and wasabi apple mayo
Harrisa chicken burger with Southern slaw and Chipotle, red pepper ketchup
Lentil and sweet potato burgers with pepperjack cheese and Chipotle red pepper ketchup.
Spiced pomegranate lamb chops
Tandoori aubergine
Herby cheese and olive stuffed red peppers
Grilled cheesy corn
Spicy sweet potato chips
Tater salad
Big chop salad
Rawkamole (har har)
Boozy iced tea Coconut, honey lemonade cocktail
OK, so first we want to start with the sauces and pickles. You can make these a month in advance so you can let the flavours develop.
If you are feeling lazy then of course you can just buy ready made BBQ sauce and spicy ketchup but ,
YOU WILL SUCK!
Are you ready? Here goes.
Sauces and Pickles
Red Pepper and Chipotle ketchup
Yes, I recycle. This is my red pepper and chipotle ketchup and my Bourbon, cola BBQ sauce. oh, and my little friend Hernando.
Ingredients
700ml pasatta
2 chipotle chillies from a jar of chipotle in adobe sauce chopped (or 2 dried chipotle chillies which have been soaked over night in 100ml boiling water)
1 small onion diced
4 minced garlic cloves
2 large red peppers
1 cinnamon stick
Half teaspoon cumin seeds
Half teaspoon corriander seeds
1 teaspoon hot paprika
Half teaspoon salt
200ml red wine vinegar
200g caster sugar
2 bay leaves
Splash vegetable oil
Heat your oven to 220 degrees or equivalent.
Put the peppers onto a baking tray with a little splash of vegetable oil and roast for about 20 minutes until skin is browned and blistering. Leave to cool then peel off the skin and take out the seeds. Chop roughly
Put a splash of vegetable oil into a heavy bottomed pan and put onto a medium heat.
Add the onion and garlic and cook for a few minutes until softened and smelling fragrant.
Add the cinnamon stick, cumin seeds, corriander seeds, paprika and bay leaves. Cook for a minute until nice and fragrant. If the pan is getting a little dry just add a wee splash of water.
Add the passatta, red wine vinegar, sugar, chillies, roast red pepper and salt. Stir, bring to the boil then turn down to a low simmer and cook for about an hour and a half to two hours until thick.
Take out the bay leaves and cinnamon stick and discard and leave to cool for about 15 minutes then put into a blender or use a stick blender to puree till smooth.
Put a non metal sieve over the pot you were using for the sauce and pour the blended sauce through the sieve. You will need a wooden spoon to squeesh the mix through the sieve. You want to get as much sauce through as possible.
Put back onto the heat and bring to the boil. The sauce should be just a bit thinner than normal ketchup as it will thicken when it cools.
Pour into sterilised jars or bottles with non metallic lids, bang the bottom onto a surface a little to knock out any air bubbles, seal tight and leave to cool completely.
Leave for a couple of days before use. The sauce will keep for 3 months unopened but once opened, store in the fridge and use within 2 weeks. Note: You can sterilise bottles and jars by either putting them into a very hot dishwasher cycle or wash then thoroughly with hot soapy water, rinse, drain then put into an oven at 200 degrees for 15 minutes.
Bourbon and Cola BBQ sauce
Ingredients
1 can Jack Daniels and Cola premix
75g dark brown muscavado sugar
1 tablespoon tamarind paste
700ml pasatta
200ml cider or red wine vinegar
1 cinnamon stick
1 tablespoon dark thick soy sauce
1 star anis
2 bay leaves
quarter teaspoon cayenne pepper
quarter teaspoon onion powder
quarter teaspoon garlic powder
This is a lazy persons BBQ sauce. Gooooooood, I hear you say.
Stick everything in a big pot. Give it a good stir.
Bring to the boil then turn down and simmer for about an hour, stirring every now and the until sauce has thickened. It will thicken again during cooling so leave it a bit runnier than you would usually have it when finished cooking.
remove cinnamon stick, star anis and bay leaves.
Pour into sterilised bottles or containers and seal well.
Leave to cool then put into fridge. Will keep for about 3 months.
Pickled cucumber
1 cucumber
200ml Japanese white rice or sushi vinegar
1 teaspoon Japanese mirin
small pinch chilli flakes
salt
Put the vinegar, mirin and chilli flakes into a small pot, stir, bring to the boil and then turn down to a simmer and cook for 5 minutes.
Place into a plastic sealable container.
Slice the cucumber thinly and lay each slice in a single layer on top of a large plate or non metallic dish.
Sprinkle the cucumber all over with lots of salt.
Leave for 15 minutes.
Squeeze the cucumber slices to get rid of the excess liquid and put into the vinegar. Mix to coat all the cucumber slices then cover and store in the fridge.
These will be ready to use in a few hours and will keep in the fridhe for a few weeks.
Now for the burgers
What you lookin at? Think you're gonna eat me? Jist try it PAL! Moooooooooooooooooo.
You can make the burgers and other meaty things a day before the BBQ or for ease you can make them all ahead and freeze. Just defrost fully before you want to cook them.
Basically you want to make as much as you can in advance and leave yourself as little to do on the day so you have plenty time to drink, listen to tunes and enjoy yourself . That's my motto. So crack open a beer while you're at it.
I recommend Astra. So good I got the logo tattooed on me.
You will obviously need good quality burger buns as el cheapo ones will just turn soggy and fall apart. Also get plenty of any extras you like for your burgers. Crispy lettuce, tomato, sliced pickles, mustard ,mayonaise, etc. The more condiments the better I say. I like a good condiment me!
Take inspiration from the Germans. They like sauce too. Or should I say "Senf".
I always put these on a wee table ready for people to help themselves to. Along with the toasted buns, salads, sides, forks, plates and napkins.
Let people help themselves to this so you aren't running around all day trying to serve everyone.
(Just for the record, while checking to see on my bottle of mustard how the Germans spell sauce, I just got cracked over the head by a glass bottle of rice vinegar. Now I smell like sushi).
Now I'm not gonna go into a huge spiel about how to fire up the perfect barbecue. Find a puffed chested Alpha male and get him to do it. Sit and drink a beer while you wait.
Just make sure the damn thing is hot.
With the beef burgers I cooked them for 4 minutes each side as I like them kinda pink. For well done cook for about 5 to 6 minutes each side.
For the pork burgers cook for 5 to 6 minutes each side and you can check to see if they are cooked by cutting one up and checking the inside. We don't want to poison anyone now do we.
For the chicken burgers cook for about 7 to 8 minutes each side and make sure they are cooked right through.
Cook the sweet potato and lentils burgers for 4 minutes each side until they are nice and crispy on the outside.
Beef and blue cheese burgers with grilled onions
Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm, runny cheeeeeeeeeeeese.
Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!
makes 4
500g quality organic beef steak mince
2 shallots diced fine
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon dark thick soy sauce
half teaspoon fresh thyme
quarter teaspoon salt
125g blue cheese. I used Roquefort but any softish blue cheese it good.
1 red onion sliced into thick rings
Put the mince, shallots, garlic, soy sauce, thyme and salt into a big bowl and give it a good old mix.
Separate the mix into 4, roll into balls then cut the cheese into 4 and push each bit of cheese into the centre of each burger and seal. Flatten the burger balls into a patty shapes making sure that the cheese is not poking through.
Wrap the burgers in parchment and store in fridge for a few hours at least before you cook them. Don't stick the burgers on top of each other without separating with parchment or they will stick together and you will get very annoyed.
Grill the red onion rings at the same time as you are grilling the burgers.
Stick your burgers into the bun with the extras you like, top with the red onion rings and smother in the Bourbon, cola BBQ sauce.
The juice will run down your arm. This makes it more fun.
Hoisin pork burgers with pickled cucumber and apple, wasabi mayo
makes 4
600g lean organic pork mince
100g hoisin sauce ( keep more hoisin sauce for serving)
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds
1 teaspoon minced ginger
half teaspoon minced garlic
half teaspoon minced red chilli
4 spring onions sliced fine
2 tablespoons panko breadcrumbs
For the apple wasabi mayo
6 tablespoons mayonaise
half an apple (eat the rest)
quarter teaspoon wasabi paste
small splash Japanese rice or sushi vinegar
pinch salt and pepper
Pickled cucumber slices
Mix all the burger ingredients together, divide by 4 and flatten into patties.
Wrap with parchment and store in the fridge for at least an hour before use.
To put together, smear the bottom of your toasty bun with the apple, wasabi mayo and some lettuce. Top with the burger then some hoisin sauce and place some pickled cucumbers on top.
Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum.
Harissa chicken burgers with southern slaw and Chipotle, red pepper ketchup
makes 4
4 good quality organic chicken breasts
2 tablespoons harissa paste
half teaspoon minced garlic
quarter teaspoon paprika
quarter teaspoon ground cumin
juice of 1 lime
handfull chopped fresh parsley
handfull chopped fresh corriander
pinch salt
Southern slaw (recipe to follow)
Chipotle, red pepper ketchup
Mix the harissa paste, garlic, lime juice, paprika, cumin, parsley and
corriander together. Add the chicken and mix till coated all over.
Put in the fridge overnight.
To assemble, smear the bottom of your toasted burger bun with lots of Chipotle, red pepper ketchup and lettuce. Top with the cooked chicken breast then loads of Southern slaw.
Lentil and sweet potato burger
makes 4
200g cooked black or put lentils
1 large sweet potato cooked, mashed and cooled ( I like to roast mine and keep the skin on. You can do this by heating the oven to 200 degrees, cutting the sweet potato into chunks, drizzling with a little oil and roasting for for about 25 to 30 minutes until tender. Then mash)
1 small red onion diced very fine
big handfull sweetcorn
1 teaspoon tomato puree
2 roast red peppers from a jar chopped roughly
big handfull chopped fresh corriander
quarter teaspoon garlic powder
quarter teaspoon ground cumin
quarter teaspoon ground corriander
quarter teaspoon paprika
quarter teaspoon dried oregano
pinch cayenne pepper
big pinch salt and pepper
Pepperjack cheese or spicy Mexicana cheese for serving
Mix all the above ingredients together and form into 4 patties.
Store in the fridge for at least and hour till ready to be cooked.
Serve the burgers with lashings of Chipotle, red pepper ketchup and melty pepperjack cheese.
Non burger mains, meaty treats and other delights
Pomegranate lamb chops
makes 4
4 juicy organic lamb chops
2 tablespoons pomegranate molasas
50ml pomegranate juice
half teaspoon minced garlic
big pinch ground cinnamon
teaspoon ground cumin
teaspoon ground corriander
quarter teaspoon paprika
big pinch salt
Put everything in a big sealable sandwich bag and rub it all together. Swing it round your head a few times. You may also windmill hair at this point. Like these guys.
Leave to marinade for a few hours at least or overnight till ready to cook.
For pink lamb grill for about 3 minutes each side and 5 to 6 minutes each side for well done.
Tandoori Aubergine
serves 4
1 large aubergine
2 tablespoons madras curry sauce
24 tablespoons natural yoghurt
half teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon mint sauce
big pinch salt
Mix the Madras curry paste, yoghurt, garlic, mint sauce and salt together.
Slice the aubergine into half centimetre thick slices. Put into the marinade and coat all over.
Put in the fridge until ready to cook.
Take out of the marinade and grill for about 6 minutes on each side until tender and slightly crispy on the outside.
Herby cheese and olive stuffed red peppers
makes 4
4 pointy red peppers
400g herb cream cheese
100g feta cheese
big handfull pitted black olives sliced
big handfull fresh basil torn
couple fresh mint leaves chopped
cocktail sticks
Mix the cream cheese, feta, olives, basil and mint together.
cut the tops of the peppers off but leave whole. Take out the seeds.
Stuff the peppers with the cheese mixture then secure the tops back onto the peppers with the cocktail sticks.
Store in the fridge till ready to cook.
To cook, grill the peppers for about 8 to 10 minutes turning every now and then till slightly charred on outside and softened,.
Sides, glorious sides, salads and all
Spiced sweet potato chips with pumpkin seed oil
I like my meat bloody.
serves 4
3 large sweet potatoes cut into thick chips
1 tablespoons smoked Cajun seasoning
half teaspoon salt
50ml olive oil
25ml pumpkin seed oil
50g pumpkin seeds
half teaspoon dried oregano
Preheat you oven to 220 degrees.
Put the sweet potato chips into a large bowl, add the rest of the ingredients and mix well.
Lay onto an oven tray in a single layer and roast for about 25 minutes until browned on the outside and tender inside.
You can leave these to cool and re heat them for 10 minutes at 100 degrees if you need to.
Grilled cheesy corn
makes 4
4 fresh corn cobs with husks taken off (you can use frozen corn cobs too. Just defrost them first)
4 tablespoons grated Parmesan
small handfull dried parsley chopped parsley
2 tablespoons panko breadcrumbs
100ml olive oil
juice of one lemon
Grill corn for about 8 minutes turning every now and then to make sure they are evenly cooked and have a nice char.
While the corn is cooking mix the rest of the ingredients in a shallow dish.
When corn is cooked roll it in the cheesy mixture and serve.
Southern Slaw
half a head white cabbage shredded
4 shallots sliced fine
2 teaspoons caster sugar
quarter teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
2 tablespoons mayonaise
2 teaspoons hot sauce
big pinch white pepper
quarter teaspoon celery salt
Mix all together and leave in fridge overnight.
Serve on it's own and with the harissa chicken burger.
Tater salad
500g baby potatoes
1 small red onion sliced fine
6 gherkins chopped roughly
1 tablespoon capers rinsed and drained
2 tablespoons mayonaise
2 tablespoons creme fraiche
big handfull chopped fresh parsley
pinch salt and ground white pepper
Half the potatoes and cook them in a big pot of boiling salted water for about 10 minutes until tender but not falling apart.
Run under cold water till cold then drain.
Mix the rest of the ingredients together in a large bowl, add the potatoes and give a final mix until all coated.
Store in fridge until ready to serve.
Chop salad
1 head of romaine lettuce
1 red onion diced
half cucumber diced
3 tomatoes diced
4 eggs hard boiled and chopped roughly
big handfull pitted black olives chopped roughly
125g Stilton crumbled
100g diced pancetta fried until crisp, drained and cooled
Big handfull chopped fresh parsley
100ml extra virgin olive oil
30 ml red wine vinegar
half tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon clear runny honey
Pinch salt and pepper
Make the dressing. Pour all the ingredients into an empty jar, screw the lid on tightly and shake it furiously until it has emulsified.
Make the salad last thing before you serve the food.
Chop the lettuce roughly and mix with the rest of the ingredients.
Pour over the dressing just before you serve and mix lightly.
Rawkamole
4 ripe avocados
Half red onion diced fine
2 tomatoes chopped fine
half teaspoon minced red chilli
juice of 1 lime
pinch ground cumin
pinch paprika
couple splashes hot sauce
big handfull chopped fresh corriander
Pinch salt
There are 2 ways you can make this.
Either bung everything into a food processor and blitz till roughly mashed or
Skin the avocados and take out the stone. I've always had the urge to bounce the stone off someone's head. Don't know why.
Put into a bowl with the lime juice and mash roughly with the end of a rolling pin.
Add the rest of the ingredients and mix well.
Well, that's all the food out of the way. Phew. Now it's time for the booze.
Boozy iced tea
This is a great drink to serve on a sunny day. Sit back, relax. Sip your tea and lemonade then wonder why you're pished.
6 Earl Grey teabags
100g soft brown sugar
2 lemons
1 orange
500ml bourbon
lots and lots of ice
Put the teabags and brown sugar into a 5ltr jug.
Pour over 2 litres boiling water. stir and leave to sit until completely cooled.
Take out the teabags.
Cut the lemon and orange into slices and add to the tea mix.
When ready to serve pour the bourbon into the jug add lots of ice , mix well and serve.
Coconut, honey Lemonade
6 lemons
2 limes
150g caster sugar
2 tablespoons clear runny honey
200ml coconut rum (Malibu or Ko ko Kanu)
1.5 litres water
Lots of ice
Mix the lemon and lime juice with the sugar and honey and stir till dissolved.
Pour into a big jug. add the rum, water and lots of ice.
Stir well and serve.
Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Hope your BBQ goes good guys. Send in your most Metal BBQ photos and I'll post them on the blog. Appetite of Destruction. Over and out.
