Who put the "Posh" in Heavy Metal?

Who put the "Posh" in Heavy Metal?

Well, oneself and Ainsley Rubert Haversham III have just returned from a most delightful hiatus in Southern France where we toured the vineyards and ate sumptuous Bouillabaisse while basking in the glorious springtime sun.

Aye right!

I live in London and have to brace the rain and eat 50p noodles because all my bleedin wages go on renting a shoebox. 

And I remember when noodles cost 18p. Scandalous.

So? Who put the Posh in Heavy Metal?

This man!

Mr Brucie, Bruce Dickinson

The man, the legend that is Bruce Dickinson. 

Posh boy come Heavy Metal Vocalist extrordiner. 

I love Iron Maiden and I love Bruce Dickinson. Hes a great entertainer.

What stage presence this guy has, opposed to all the self loving singers who just stand behind a mic and expect to be adored. 

Entertain me twat. 

The bubbles in my warm pint are more fucking interesting than you. 

So, Brucie McBrucester, as I like to call him, is a boarding school lad (poor guy, bet he never got to experience the joy that was State school free warm milk?), trained fencer, Jumbo jet pilot as well as being the vocalist of one of the best Heavy Metal bands to ever grace this earth. 

What a guy. 

Here's one of my favorite Iron Maiden videos. 

It even has posh school kids in it painting an old ruined Abbey in England. Class!

So what do Posh Englishmen drink?

Apart from their OWN GOD DAMN BREWED BEER? 

Well, Pimms of course.

Now I love a bit of sunny weather Pimms Punch in the park as much as the next person but I have to hide it in A Buckfast bottle so as not to let my fellow Scottish country men down. 

Need to keep up appearances like!

(I'm only kidding. I hide it in my boot).

So I've devised a little sunny weather Pimms ice lolly recipe that you can take to the Park for your posh picnics. 

Enjoy, I'll be the one in the park drinking from my boot and peeing in the bushes, like every true Glaswegian should. 

Pimms Ice Lollies

 

 

You will need ice lolly moulds, obviously. 

ml Pimms

ml lemonade

Strawberries

1 orange

small portion cucumber

Small handful fresh mint

Slice the strawberries, cucumber and orange and rip up the mint. Divide between the lolly moulds.

Divide the Pimms and Lemonade between the moulds, give it a wee stir then put the sticks on and freeze overnight ready to take to the park. 

Seriously, what the fuck? 

Heavy Metal Fairies

G'day Mates. 
That's how they say hello in Australia by the way. 

Today's recipe is in honour of my pal Amanda, who hails from the Great Outback, so great in fact that she now lives in London. 

The recipe is for Fairy Bread.

Right, so Fairy Bread is basically just white bread with butter and sugar sprinkles on top. 
I know, weird eh?
Amanda swears that it gets served at every Australian kids party.
I'm still not sure if she is pulling my leg? 
Though, coming from the land of the Mythical deep fried Mars bar, I suppose I can't really judge. 


Here's a video for a great Ozzie band called Frankenbok.
They have the best name ever. 
Gee those crazy Ozzies. 





Gosh this man is so angry. I bet it's because his parents made him eat Fairy Bread as a kid. "Look ma! I've got Unicorn poop".


The recipe isn't really hard to follow but here you go

Fairy Bread

2 slices white bread
butter or margarine
Hundreds and Thousands (or sugar sprinkles as the rest of the world seems to call them)

Butter your slices of bread, sprinkle over the.......sprinkles. 
Serve, enjoy. Maybe.
I think it's like Marmite. You will either love it or hate it.
I was................ not displeased.

No Love Lost...... For The Humble Chicken Wing.

Hello my wonderful followers (ahem, follower),
I can tell you that I sure have Lost No Love for me ol' favorite snacking food, The Chicken Wing. 
Peanut and Strawberry chicken wings to be precise. 

I bought the Peanut butter from Maltby Street Market check it out, It's flippin amazing
Maltby Street Market

Chicken wings are a dish best eaten on their own, in your pants, with a shame smeared sauce face. 
Seriously, if you want a date to run away fast, eat chicken wings in front of them............... or you could choke on a bit of squid in a nice sushi restaurant, make horrible retching noises and nearly vomit on the table.
That'll certainly do it.  
Well, I've never claimed to be a lady.
It's OK folks, he came back.  Ssssssssh, Don't tell Pepper Keenan.

Speaking of my one true love, Pepper. He was playing with The COC the other night in London but I couldn't get a ticket because I am a pauper. 
So I was walking past the venue and I saw Kirk Windstein, (Google it) started having a mild panic attack, spun around in a frantic circle and contemplated holding Old Kirky hostage till he agreed to get Pepper to come out and Marry me (only kidding Henry..... That totally didn't happen).

Here is a little Ditty from a band called Carcass, see what I did there eh, eh?  Chicken ...Carcass.....Chicken wings.
The puns are never ending with me.
I don't know why I don't have my own TV Cookery show yet?
Oh wait, no. 
It's because I'm a lazy blogger.

Enjoy the video folks, It's one of my all time favorites. 
The riffing is spiffing.  




I nicked the idea for this recipe from a bar in Putney called Lost and Co. Check it out. They do amazing cocktails and really tasty food. 
LOST & CO

It sounds bat shit crazy but it really works, the sweetness from the strawbs cuts through the salty peanut butter and it's a good recipe to make if you are skint as chicken wings are pretty dang cheap.

I'm not gonna lie, I ate a Kilo of them to myself and I was sauce smeared and in my pants but I didn't feel even the slightest bit ashamed.
 It's good when you can lick chicken wing sauce off your own body and there's no one there to judge you. 
Mmmmmmmmmm.

Peanut and Strawberry Chicken Wings  

1 Kg chicken wings jointed

Marinade
280g buttermilk or natural yoghurt
10g fresh grated ginger
50g runny honey
75g peanut butter
60g strawberry jam 

Sauce
70g buttermilk or natural yoghurt 
50g strawberry jam
75g peanut butter
10g hot sauce
60ml water 

Mix the chicken wings well with the marinade ingredients so that the chicken wings are well coated.
Store in the fridge over night. 

Heat your oven to 180 degrees (or equivalent) and place the chicken wings onto a well oiled tray or a tray lined with baking or greaseproof paper.
Cook the wings for about 35 to 45 minutes till crispy on the outside.

Whisk all the sauce ingredients together and toss in the hot chicken wings to coat evenly.

Make sure you have  a LOT of napkins, skin, whatever. 

Enjoy.