MILLIONS OF PEACHES, PEACHES FOR ME!

Millions of peaches, peaches for me. Millions of peaches peaches for free......LOOK OUT!

I bought a lot of peaches.
Peaches for me, but they weren't free.

Lets just say I got a bit over excited in the shop and therefor had quite a lot of peaches left over. 
I had peaches coming oot my ears. As they say! 
Who are they? Who knows, the powers that be? 
The Presidents of the United States of America? 
They like peaches.

I'm not moving to the country though. I am a City Girl through and through. 




I know this song isn't really Heavy Metal enough for my little 'ol blog here, but damn it's catchy. 

Here's a link to Stone Sour (get it, get it?) If you need a Metal fix. 
Stone Sour - Made of Scars


Here's what I made with some of my left over peaches. I ate some on their own too. God, will it ever end.

Boozy Peach Iced Tea

Boozy Peach Iced Tea

800ml water, boiled from the kettle
3 ripe peaches 
2 Irish breakfast tea bags
200ml bourbon
80g honey

Cut two of the peaches into slices and add to a large heatproof bowl or jug with the tea bags. 
Pour over the boiling water. 
Give it a little stir then leave to cool completely.
Take out the tea bags and add the honey and bourbon.
Give it a good stir to make sure the honey dissolves.
Put into the fridge for at least one hour
Put a sieve on top of a large bowl and pour the tea into it. Squash the peaches into the bottom of the sieve to get out all the lovely juice. 
Put your iced tea into either a big serving jug adding ice and the the remaining sliced peach.
Or you can be totally hipster like me and put it into tea cups with a slice of peach on the side.

Make sure you wear a bow tie while doing this or you are not a proper Hipster.

Grilled Peach and whipped Goat's Cheese Crostini

2 ripe peaches halved
little knob of butter
2 slices bread of your choice toasted
60g Goat's cheese
30g sour cream
few basil leaves
pinch dried chilli flakes

Put a knob of butter into a pan and heat on medium.
When the butter has just melted add the peaches cut side down. Cook until golden brown. About 6 to 8 minutes. 

Whip the goat's cheese and sour cream together with a wooden spoon or hand whisk. 
Spread the goats cheese on top of the toasted bread slices, top with the peaches, add a few basil leaves and the chilli flakes.

This is such a lovely lunch.
And that's that! All my peaches are gone.
Till next summer. 

PEACHY KEEN FOR PEARL JAM

Hello everyone,
I went a wee bit peach mad this month. 
I made my Goonies Never Say Die Peach Pie, but still had a ton of ripe little peachy bottoms left over.

I had to come up with more fanciful ways to use them up because I get peeved if I have to throw out food.
Waste not want not and all that.

I had been thinking for a while how to do a blog for Pearl Jam. 
So my little peaches looked up at me from the bowl and said 
"It is time".

Picture from alternativenation.net (also, that's one lovely cardigan).

My Peachy Keen jam is in Honour of Pearl Jam and my teenage infatuation with Eddie Vedder.
Yup, let's just say I was very "keen" on that man. After all, he was my second big crush, after Richard E Grant.

Pearl Jam were also the first proper band that I ever got into. God I'd never heard anything like it before.
 It was my "Musical Awakening" and Pearl Jam will always be one of my most loved bands of all time. 

Recreation of the Pearl Jam Ten album cover. Clearly I am Eddie Vedder in the picture. 

I have Pearl Jam to thank for putting me on the path to Heavy Metal. 

Thanks guys. 

Peachy Keen Jam

This recipe is ridiculously easy. It's soft set too so just pop it in the fridge after it has cooled and it will last for about 2 weeks. 

400g fresh peaches chopped roughly
160g caster sugar
1 green chilli, I used a little fat Jalapeno sliced into fine rings.

Put all your ingredients into a heavy bottomed pot and cook on a medium heat stirring every now and then for about 1 hour until it is nice and thick. 

Leave to cool then store in the fridge for about 2 weeks. 

Kiss your posters of Eddie Vedder. Only kidding, I totally didn't do that. 

GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE PEACH PIE

Hello one and all. 
And welcome to today's blog.

A few months ago I watched a film called Labour Day, starring Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin. 

The film is about an escaped convict who takes a boy hostage then forces the boy's semi agoraphobic Mother to hide him out in her home. 

Sounds rough? But it's actually a beautiful and sad love story.
The scene below was so well shot that it inspired me to make this recipe for fresh peach pie.

Labour Day review 





After watching this I wondered whether it was possible to have a second sexual awakening?

By the way, my first was Richard E Grant in Warlock. 
But you guys probably knew that already?

Those eyes, those eyes.
Perfectly suited for dreaming about over pies. 

I know, don't give up my day job.

Well, I've had a nice cup of tea and a sit down to calm myself.

Josh Brolin was also in The Goonies.
One of my favorite films. Hence the name Goonies never say die peach pie

Goonies never say die.



Here's the recipe for my peach pie. It's not exactly like the one Josh Brolin and Kate Winslet made but it's a damn good pie.
Now go and find someone to sexually mulch up some peaches with you. 
I had to do it on my own. BORING!

Goonies never say die Peach Pie

Ingredients

For the pastry:

210g plain flour

150g unsalted butter

25g caster sugar

25g icing sugar

1 large egg

pinch salt

For the filling:

1kg fresh ripe peaches

25g caster sugar
80g seeded raspberry jam

And don't forget a generous pinch of Josh Brolin. Tee hee hee.

Method

To make the pastry put all the ingredients except the egg into a food processor and pulse  till it looks like bread crumbs.
Add the egg and pulse till the dough just comes together.
(If you don't have a food processor then rub the butter into the flour and sugar with your fingertips till you get a breadcrumb consistency, whisk the eggs then add to the flour mix and mix until just incorporated).

Flour your work surface and put the dough on top and knead lightly until smooth.
Cut the dough in half, wrap one half in cling film and put in the fridge.
Roll out the other half till about 2cm thick and line your pie dish. Leave for 5 minutes.
Cut the excess round the pie dish and crimp the edges. Pierce the bottom with a fork a couple of times then place in the fridge and leave for about 30 minutes.

Set oven to 170 degrees or equivalent.

Have a coffee, dance in your pants to 70's rock like I was doing while making this.

Take the pie dish out of the fridge, line with baking paper and fill with rice, pasta or dried beans.
Bake for 20 minutes, take out of the oven, remove the rice, pasta and brush the bottom with a little beaten egg and bake for another 10 minutes.
Take out and leave to cool.

Cut  your peaches into wedges (no need to peel). Mix with the sugar and jam.
Place into the cooled pie crust.

Flour your work surface and roll out 2/3rds of the pastry. Lay on top of the pie dish.
Use the rest of your pastry to decorate the top however you like.
Brush with egg and poke a few holes in.

Bake for about 50 minutes to one hour 10 minutes. 
My over is absolutely rubbish so I had to turn the pie a couple of times to get an even bake. If you have a fan oven you should be fine.  
Leave to cool for about 30 minutes before you eat or you'll burn your mouth off.

I think its best completely cooled with some ice cream.

Who put the "Posh" in Heavy Metal?

Who put the "Posh" in Heavy Metal?

Well, oneself and Ainsley Rubert Haversham III have just returned from a most delightful hiatus in Southern France where we toured the vineyards and ate sumptuous Bouillabaisse while basking in the glorious springtime sun.

Aye right!

I live in London and have to brace the rain and eat 50p noodles because all my bleedin wages go on renting a shoebox. 

And I remember when noodles cost 18p. Scandalous.

So? Who put the Posh in Heavy Metal?

This man!

Mr Brucie, Bruce Dickinson

The man, the legend that is Bruce Dickinson. 

Posh boy come Heavy Metal Vocalist extrordiner. 

I love Iron Maiden and I love Bruce Dickinson. Hes a great entertainer.

What stage presence this guy has, opposed to all the self loving singers who just stand behind a mic and expect to be adored. 

Entertain me twat. 

The bubbles in my warm pint are more fucking interesting than you. 

So, Brucie McBrucester, as I like to call him, is a boarding school lad (poor guy, bet he never got to experience the joy that was State school free warm milk?), trained fencer, Jumbo jet pilot as well as being the vocalist of one of the best Heavy Metal bands to ever grace this earth. 

What a guy. 

Here's one of my favorite Iron Maiden videos. 

It even has posh school kids in it painting an old ruined Abbey in England. Class!

So what do Posh Englishmen drink?

Apart from their OWN GOD DAMN BREWED BEER? 

Well, Pimms of course.

Now I love a bit of sunny weather Pimms Punch in the park as much as the next person but I have to hide it in A Buckfast bottle so as not to let my fellow Scottish country men down. 

Need to keep up appearances like!

(I'm only kidding. I hide it in my boot).

So I've devised a little sunny weather Pimms ice lolly recipe that you can take to the Park for your posh picnics. 

Enjoy, I'll be the one in the park drinking from my boot and peeing in the bushes, like every true Glaswegian should. 

Pimms Ice Lollies

 

 

You will need ice lolly moulds, obviously. 

ml Pimms

ml lemonade

Strawberries

1 orange

small portion cucumber

Small handful fresh mint

Slice the strawberries, cucumber and orange and rip up the mint. Divide between the lolly moulds.

Divide the Pimms and Lemonade between the moulds, give it a wee stir then put the sticks on and freeze overnight ready to take to the park. 

Seriously, what the fuck? 

Heavy Metal Fairies

G'day Mates. 
That's how they say hello in Australia by the way. 

Today's recipe is in honour of my pal Amanda, who hails from the Great Outback, so great in fact that she now lives in London. 

The recipe is for Fairy Bread.

Right, so Fairy Bread is basically just white bread with butter and sugar sprinkles on top. 
I know, weird eh?
Amanda swears that it gets served at every Australian kids party.
I'm still not sure if she is pulling my leg? 
Though, coming from the land of the Mythical deep fried Mars bar, I suppose I can't really judge. 


Here's a video for a great Ozzie band called Frankenbok.
They have the best name ever. 
Gee those crazy Ozzies. 





Gosh this man is so angry. I bet it's because his parents made him eat Fairy Bread as a kid. "Look ma! I've got Unicorn poop".


The recipe isn't really hard to follow but here you go

Fairy Bread

2 slices white bread
butter or margarine
Hundreds and Thousands (or sugar sprinkles as the rest of the world seems to call them)

Butter your slices of bread, sprinkle over the.......sprinkles. 
Serve, enjoy. Maybe.
I think it's like Marmite. You will either love it or hate it.
I was................ not displeased.

No Love Lost...... For The Humble Chicken Wing.

Hello my wonderful followers (ahem, follower),
I can tell you that I sure have Lost No Love for me ol' favorite snacking food, The Chicken Wing. 
Peanut and Strawberry chicken wings to be precise. 

I bought the Peanut butter from Maltby Street Market check it out, It's flippin amazing
Maltby Street Market

Chicken wings are a dish best eaten on their own, in your pants, with a shame smeared sauce face. 
Seriously, if you want a date to run away fast, eat chicken wings in front of them............... or you could choke on a bit of squid in a nice sushi restaurant, make horrible retching noises and nearly vomit on the table.
That'll certainly do it.  
Well, I've never claimed to be a lady.
It's OK folks, he came back.  Ssssssssh, Don't tell Pepper Keenan.

Speaking of my one true love, Pepper. He was playing with The COC the other night in London but I couldn't get a ticket because I am a pauper. 
So I was walking past the venue and I saw Kirk Windstein, (Google it) started having a mild panic attack, spun around in a frantic circle and contemplated holding Old Kirky hostage till he agreed to get Pepper to come out and Marry me (only kidding Henry..... That totally didn't happen).

Here is a little Ditty from a band called Carcass, see what I did there eh, eh?  Chicken ...Carcass.....Chicken wings.
The puns are never ending with me.
I don't know why I don't have my own TV Cookery show yet?
Oh wait, no. 
It's because I'm a lazy blogger.

Enjoy the video folks, It's one of my all time favorites. 
The riffing is spiffing.  




I nicked the idea for this recipe from a bar in Putney called Lost and Co. Check it out. They do amazing cocktails and really tasty food. 
LOST & CO

It sounds bat shit crazy but it really works, the sweetness from the strawbs cuts through the salty peanut butter and it's a good recipe to make if you are skint as chicken wings are pretty dang cheap.

I'm not gonna lie, I ate a Kilo of them to myself and I was sauce smeared and in my pants but I didn't feel even the slightest bit ashamed.
 It's good when you can lick chicken wing sauce off your own body and there's no one there to judge you. 
Mmmmmmmmmm.

Peanut and Strawberry Chicken Wings  

1 Kg chicken wings jointed

Marinade
280g buttermilk or natural yoghurt
10g fresh grated ginger
50g runny honey
75g peanut butter
60g strawberry jam 

Sauce
70g buttermilk or natural yoghurt 
50g strawberry jam
75g peanut butter
10g hot sauce
60ml water 

Mix the chicken wings well with the marinade ingredients so that the chicken wings are well coated.
Store in the fridge over night. 

Heat your oven to 180 degrees (or equivalent) and place the chicken wings onto a well oiled tray or a tray lined with baking or greaseproof paper.
Cook the wings for about 35 to 45 minutes till crispy on the outside.

Whisk all the sauce ingredients together and toss in the hot chicken wings to coat evenly.

Make sure you have  a LOT of napkins, skin, whatever. 

Enjoy.