Scots wa hea

Hallo every wan.
It's Burns night tonight. Just another excuse for us Scots to get pished. So I'm making haggis, neeps and tatties, wearing tartan and listening to bagpipe music.


Don't worry. I'm not gonna make you eat haggis. It is an endangered species after all.

No, today's recipe if for Cranachan which is a traditional Scottish "puddin" made with whipped cream, toasted oats, honey, raspberries and whisky.
It's bloody good so it is.
You can have this for dessert after your environmentally farmed haggis.

But back to the haggis.............

Now for all you haggis virgins out there, here's a wee clip from one of my favourite films "HIGHLANDER" to help describe what haggis is.

Does that make you want to eat it?????

As it is Burns night tonight we will be addressing the haggis so here is the Rabbie Burns poem below.
And no, I don't know what half of it means either.

Address to a Haggis

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An legs an arms, an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis

Aw, the wee haggis. coochy coooooooo.

Run haggis....... ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

So, here's a video from a band called Clanadonia called Hamsterheid.

Cladadonia are not technically speaking "Metal" but the beat is heavy and they are bloody good fun to watch.
If I meet a nice man I would like to Marry, I'm having these guys as my wedding band.

I actually bolted up Buchanan Street in Glasgow once to catch these guys to get a CD for my pal Fabiano. He's Brazilian. You'll hear about him in the next blog.

Watching the video though, I have a sneaking suspicion that some of the guys may just like their Metal.

Metaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!





OK, here's the recipe.

Cranachan

Ingredients

100g  medium oatmeal toasted
700ml double or whipping cream
1 punnet (150g) fresh or frozen raspberries
honey
Whisky

Shortbread to serve.


Whisk your cream till it forms soft peaks.
Add all the other ingredients and fold in lightly.
Serve with shortbread fingers and an extra wee dram 'O Whisky to sip.
Easy peeasy.

Git it doon ye! As we Glaswegians would say.

Sloppy Kid Joe

I wanna know you, cos you're so damn cool.

Ugly Kid Joe are one of my guilty pleasures ( along with Chris de Burgh and the Backstreet Boys. YEAH! Deal with it).
I think most Metal fans like Ugly Kid Joe. They may not admit it, but get a bunch of drunk Metalheads in a room and play "Cat's in the Cradle " every damn one of them will be singin their hearts out.
........ Ma boy wust just like meeeeeeeeeeeee... woooooooooooooooaaaa oooooooh oooooooh.
Ahem.
" So Damn Cool" is my favourite Ugly Kid Joe song.
It's pretty dang heavy. So heavy in fact that if you dropped it on your foot you'd have a tear in your eye.
Ugly Kid Joe were the first band that I ever head banged to. I tell you, the pain I was in the next day was phenomenal.
Well, not as sore as when some stupid punk decided to stage dive at the BACK of a Sick of it All gig onto my bloody head. DICK!

Regardless, here's the video for So damn Cool.




So clearly I'm doing a recipe for a Sloppy Joe. But I'm doing it Greek stylee so maybe I should call it " Sloppy Kid Stavros"????
Yeah.

Here goes

Sloppy Kid Joe

Ingredients

250g good quality lean lamb mince
1 small onion finely diced
1 small carrot peeled and finely diced
4 cloves garlic minced
1 tsp dried oregano
Half tsp dried thyme
1 bay leaf
1 tsp ground corriander
Half tsp ground cumin
Quarter tsp ground cinnamon
1 beef jelly stock cube
1 tsp tomato puree
1 tbsp tomato ketchup
Half tsp soy sauce
Half tsp mustard
250 ml water
15g brown sugar
2 tsp red wine vinegar
Pinch salt and pepper
Splash olive oil

100g Quark or natural yogurt
1 spring onion sliced thinly

Big hand full spinach or rocket leaves
4 Pitta bread or flat breads

OK, first put a splash of olive oil into a large pot or pan and put onto a medium high heat.

Add the onion, carrot and garlic and cook without colouring for about 5 minutes until softened.

Add the oregano, thyme, cumin, corriander and cinnamon and and cook for 1 minute. make sure the spices don't stick to the bottom of the pan and burn. Add a tiny bit of water if it starts to stick.

Add the tomato puree, ketchup, soy sauce, mustard, vinegar, sugar, stock cube, sugar, bay leaf and water. Stir then bring to a simmer and cook uncovered for about 30 to 40 minutes until lamb is cooked and sauce is thick. Season with salt and pepper.

While the mince is cooking mix the Quark and spring onion together.

When the lamb is ready toast your pitta bread, stuff with spinach or rocket then the lamb mix and a splodge of the Quark sauce.

You'll probably need napkins. Lots of napkins.

Uncle John's "Dirty Beer".

Beer is good. Period!
Dirty beer is better.
Now "Uncle John" is a real person.
Not some advertisement gimmick of an elusive, crooked toothed country bumpkin making moonshine in his back yard.
No. He's my Uncle John and he is a man, like most, who drinks beer.

My wee cousins call it "Dirty beer". I like it. It makes it sound like drinking beer is naughtier than usual.

One great quote from my wee cousin Scott when asked by his teacher what he wanted to do when he grows up, replied "I want to go out with my pals and drink Dirty Beer like Daddy". Classic.

This recipe is loosely based on the Mexican beer cocktail Michelada. Which is kinda like a Spicy Bloody mary made with beer.

My version omits the tomato juice as the thought of it makes me want to baulk.

Here's to you Uncle John. I love ya and yer Dirty Beer.

Uncle John's Dirty Beer

The recipe for this cocktail has beer and tequila in it but if you want you can cheat and buy a bottle of Desperados as it'll do the same thing and you don't need to buy a whole bottle of tequila.
Though, I think all respectable households should have a good bottle of tequila in the drinks cabinet.

If these adverts don't make you wanna drink Desperados, I don't know what will.

I all of a sudden feel a strong urge to drink a nice cold Desperados. Damn advertising works.

Recipe

1 bottle of nice cold beer (Negra Modelo is very good)
1 shot good quality Tequila
4 dashes of hot sauce
Lots of lime wedges
Ice
Pinch of salt

Put loads of ice in a big pint glass. Squeeze in the lime juice. Add the tequila, salt and hot sauce. Pour in the beer. Give it a stir and drink.

Add more hot sauce if you like it really spicy.